People are starting to notice.... I told everyone who would listen that I was getting the band. I'm on a mission to promote acceptance of WLS so I'm not shy, even showing my incision (maybe tmi for some people, but that's just me). But it went from "how are you doing with your weight loss?" to "wow you're losing a lot of weight aren't you?" I'm a little self conscience, I've never been great at accepting compliments, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear them! :-)

Yesterday I had a pair of pre-surgery jeans on that had never been tight on me, but fit me well. I went to go to the bathroom and since I've been wearing so many sweatpants to allow my incision to heal I've gotten used to just pulling them down. Well without even thinking I pulled my jeans off without unbuttoning them! Just slid right down! Talk about a NSV! So today I was brave enough to put on the jeans that had been a little snug. I will admit they're not quite as comfy on my incision but with the top button open they are comfy enough and loose everywhere else. At 19 lbs and 3 weeks tomorrow post op I am already just 4 lbs away from my first goal!

OMG!! I have a follower! lmao! Thanks Amy, nice to meet you! I hope I don't bore you. I started this blog only because I wanted to write down my thoughts and track my progress and I didn't have a notebook handy. I never in a million years thought anyone would be interested in reading anything I had to say. So thanks for sharing my journey!.

Anyway.... My 2 week post op appointment was Tuesday and went well. I've graduated to mushies and am loving every minute of them. I read about bandster "lasagna" and I can't get enough of it. I tried some green beans (canned cause they're softer) and they went down ok, but it took me a while to eat a very small portion. I think I'll try carrots tonight.

I've been very open with everyone I know about having WLS. I feel it is important to tell people about it to help lessen the stigma attached to it. And since I have a pretty tough skin and don't give a rat's ass what most people think, I took it upon myself to be an unofficial spokesperson for lapband. The downside to that is that now people are constantly asking me "how much weight I lost" I mean on a daily basis. I want to say to them "I just saw you yesterday do you think I dropped 5 lbs overnight?" but I guess that is one of the things I will have to educate them about.

I got some very shocking news on facebook last night. An old friend from HS told us he has been battling Parkinsons Disease for the past 5 years. Although I haven't seen him in over 20 years it really has effected me. I looked up some info about it and it is one of the most terrible diseases I have ever heard of. I am so proud of him that he is secure enough to come out and tell people what he is dealing with and his courage has made me want to redouble my effort on educating people about WLS.

I have set a mini goal which I think is highly acheivable. I want to be in Onederland by the time I get my first fill which is in 4 weeks. I need to lose 6 lbs and I think that's a very realistic goal. Only time will tell...

So today was day 7 post op. A week already. And a few observations. Not quite non scale victories, but some things that have made me go...huh....

That realllllly little tiny tupperware that I got almost as a gag gift at a tupperware party it would barely hold dressing for my salad is now big enough for 2 portions of guacamole for me! Also that little TINY measuring cup that came with my pampered chef measuring cup set is now the right size for measuring out entire meal ingrediants... Then there's the fact that I'm going to need to go out and get all new tupperware cause my fridge is FULL of leftovers! Apparently we're still cooking for 3 and since Grace never eats either it's more like cooking for one and the amount of leftovers is insane!

I've noticed that when I get that weird feeling in my chest now the one that I used to have to hammer my rib cage to get any relief from, I'm able to get a little burp up and it goes away. Not really anymore pain in my shoulder but I have noticed a twinge if I start to feel full, so I wonder if that has anything to do with a warning sign that I should stop eating... I've had a few hours reecently of feeling almost completely normal already. I feel pretty damn good now so I'll go with that for as long as it lasts...

For a day or two after surgery I was wondering if I would ever feel the same again or if i would always feel the gas and indigestion, I do believe there may be just a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel

Jen was amazing too. Always had a big smile on her face even at 4am. The next day was a bit more hectic because the poor nurse was the only one on for 11 patients and her nurses aide had never been assigned to that floor before. I pretty much was on my own, but it was quite ok, because by then I knew the routine and was happy to be left alone...even unhooked myself to some of the equiptment to be more comfortable (hehe) so i got to nap a little...

I returned home to find Grace with a cough and what then turned into a fever. She's still not feeling well so it's been a kind of rough week for her. She missed me. Wasn't feeling well. Didn't really get to play too much or go to school. The weather has been crappy...tomorrow we're going to Petco for a new fish (Railroad isn't dead yet, but it's not a good sign when you're fish can't swim...) he's a 2 year old Beta...he's lived a good life. And we'll pick up some impatiens to plant during the week and we're going to tie dye my tableclothes for the candle shows, so hopefully that will give her something fun to do..

I worked today. Wasn't too bad. By the end of the day I was DONE. Got home and took a nap that's why I'm not the least bit tired now and have the time. I was pretty satisfied and full most of the day. Not in much pain. Very sore at the port site like everyone says but the other incisions really don't hurt at all although they're black and blue (more black than blue...) Today I was laying in bed outstretched while on the phone and I actually felt NORMAL for a change. Not hungry. Not full. Not sore. No gas. No pain. It was nice until I tried to get up...but that too will get better. Down 13.5 lbs. Need to update my ticker on lapbandtalk.com

Wow! So much has happened. The surgery was Monday May 11. Got to the hospital at 12:30 not feeling bad at all...not even anxious. They prepped me and I got to be with Alan for a while. I even got to walk into the operating room on my own...still not nervous. The procedure itself was a snap (after all I only had to lay there). Waking up from anesthesia was very unpleasant. Last time, for my upper endoscopy I threw up when I woke up but it was more embarrasing than anything else. This time upon waking I was struggling to breathe. I don't know if I was having an asthma attack or what. They kept just telling me that I was breathing fine, but I sure didn't feel fine. Very scary. They put a mask on me and I think gave me a nebulizer treatment...i'm kind of foggy on it and forgot to ask. But after about 10 minutes I was ok. The pain wasn't too bad. I was sooooooooo thirsty (which I later found out was only the very beginning of how thirsty I would eventually become).

They brought me to my room which happened to be in a brand new wing of the hospital that was built specifically for Dr. Ahmad's patients and I was the first one admitted to it! Kind of an honor! The nurses were above and beyond fantastic especially the night nurse and nurses aid. I got up throughout the night on at least 6 occasions to pee and they helped me every time. I was hooked up to so much crap it would take 5 minutes to take it off and another 5 to put it all back on, but they never let on at all if it was a bother. I walked the halls for several times with the aide, Mike, who I even got to chat a little with. He told me he was from upstate, an EMT, grandfather was somewhat connected back in the day...told me about work at the hospital... the whole time making me feel like a friend rather than a chore to attend to. And even apologized when he had to do his job of "attending" to me by saying I shouldn't worry and that he was a gentleman. Someone who truly is following his calling...

So today is mother's day. Celebrated by going to my favorite restaurant for lunch...even though i kept referring to it as "the last supper". i stuck with some grilled shrimp, veggies and water even though i was dying for the penne pasta with foccacia bread...but that's how I got into this mess in the first place... the REALLY interesting part of the day was when I had to drink 10 oz of the syrupy/salty cherry flavored beverage and then pooped my brains out...good times! Now I'm on liquids only for the forseeable future. Surgery is tomorrow at 12:30. I'm hungry just thinking about it.

If I had any illusions about not being that heavy and not really needing the help of the lap band they were shattered when I asked Alan to take a picture of me today for my "before" photo. I took 3 of them in just bra and underwear, front view, side view, back view...now it's not very often that I have the opportunity to see myself half naked from behind.... and I now know for sure I'm FAT! It was very eye opening and I'm glad that I got to see that. Now I know for sure this is the right thing for me, and is VERY much needed. I've followed the advice of another lap band blogger and am also going to take measurements for those days when I need a non scale victory.

So my good friend, Donna is also having this procedure done by the same dr. at the same hospital, on the same day. She's going in right before me. I'm as happy for her as I am for myself and so glad that I'll have someone to share this journey with. But I'm gonna kick her ass if she's does better than me ;-)

A blog? Me? Never blogged before...know some people who do and I've read them. pretty good. i can't imagine anyone ever really wanting to follow my journey so much so i'm doing this just for me. That's all that's supposed to matter anyway, right? So instead of filling up the notebooks like I used to I now can say I blog...I also just started paying my bills on line, so I guess I'm getting somewhere.

So the surgery is set. Lap band on May 11, 2009. I've lost 7 pounds on the pre-surgery diet and Dr. Ahmad was very happy with it. well, really Seema was...she's really great. They all are over there. They just offer so much support. Linda the nutritionist. Alyssa (I don't want to forget her name again) she's always so helpful and willing to share her journey..

I'm not nervous. I don't think. I just want to kind of get it over with so I can stop thinking about it and start doing something about it. I'm a little worried about the foods I may need to "give up" but I know that once the weight starts coming off i'll finally be in it for the right reasons and looking at what I'm gaining and not what I'm giving up...the only thing I have to lose is weight...